~Reminiscence of the Past~ (Payton)

[Seth Khoeun]

"And I know it's been years now, and I don't look the same. And the hopes and dreams you had for me you thought went down the drain. And the room feels so empty where my pictures used to be. Now, I can't say not to blame you, but you can't blame me."

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Seth had found himself feeling a bit lonely and home sick towards everything that he had once known and grown up with. It had been such a long time since he had seen his home, his old high school, his college. All of that seemed so far in the past now that it all felt like one big dream. It felt as though he really had just lived in the apocalypse for his entire life. It wasn’t true though. No. Some days, he did find himself wondering if he really did once have a normal life. He wondered sometimes how long it had been since he had had a family to call his own. After all… His days here on Earth now were filled with nothing but loneliness. Everything that he had once loved was long gone.

He had lost his parents, he had lost the girl that he had loved, and he had no idea if any of his friends were still alive. It was a hard thought to deal with. What if he was the only one left on this planet that was worth trusting? It was a rather bitter sweet thought. If he was the only one he could trust, then he would surely be safe with his own destiny and fate in his own hands. Anything bad that could happen to him would surely be his fault. However, if he did find someone that he knew from before the apocalypse the biggest question in his mind would be how it changed them as a person.

Even now, Seth knew he was changed. His once warm and trusting heart was full of fear and doubt. He didn’t know who he could trust. It seemed to be that everyone had gone insane after the apocalypse. There wasn’t anything he could do to change the way he felt. He had become a nervous wreck who didn’t know who to trust which had resulted in him pushing everything and everyone away from him. It was his last run in with someone that he knew that had made him more wary of people that he thought he had known and been close with since the apocalypse.

He had come across a friend he had met in high school. The kid was bullied and very quiet, but Seth was always kind and respectful of other’s. He had been one of the boy’s friends in school. He had come across that person only a few days ago to have a gun pointed to his face. The male had become a deranged psychopath since everything had changed. He could remember the entire experience. He could remember the entire event. It had taken him moments to remember the boy’s name, but over time it came to him and it was remember that information that seemed to save his life.

His name. That was all that the deranged boy seemed to have wanted. He wanted to be remembered. It was Michael Rulin. He was positive now that his name would never go away from his thoughts. It was his last encounter with Michael that he wished to ever have. The boy told him that he could smell Seth’s fear, or whatever that seemed to mean. It was a frightening thought, but he was sure that he had been shaking at that moment. Anyone would be with a fun pointed to their head.

It was memories like that that made Seth not want to remember anything that he had come across during the apocalypse. He just wanted to go back to the old days where he had been living a normal life. It had been much more peaceful when it was just going to school and listening to lectures. That was a life that he had taken for granted and he regretted it deeply. He missed high school and hanging out with his friends that he had grown up with. He missed every waking moment of it. He missed every precious memory. Every single second should have counted. The only thing he really could say was that he remembered it all.

He found the nostalgia of the past rush him at full force as he had made it to his old high school. It seemed to be fairly safe and clear. It was just a mess and needed to be cleared up. Of course, no one really wanted to go back to the school it seemed. It was just a place of broken memories that he knew he would never forget. It was impossible!

He paced down the hallways as silently as he could, but he could still hear the faint echoes of his own footsteps as he walked through the halls and looked at the lockers that were broken and faded. A warm smile found itself on his face when he came to where his old locker had been. He brushed his fingers against it lightly as though it could crumble to dust if he wasn’t careful with it. Of course, that wasn’t the case at all. It was still in fairly good shape, though it seemed to have been worn out over all this time with patches of rust here or there.

He opened it to welcome a soft creaking sensation. It felt like high school all over again to see the remains of notebooks and textbooks inside from its previous owner. He laughed softly and glanced over to the locker beside his own as nostalgia flooded throughout his mind. The memories he held dearest to his heart. His best friend, his child hood friend had once owned that locker in high school. Payton Clark was his name. He felt his smile fade softly as he wondered what had become of his friend. They had both went to different colleges and ended up parting ways for a while. They lost a lot of contact with each other after high school, but Seth still worried about him nonetheless. If anything, he really hoped and wished that his friend made it this far alive. That was just wishful thinking and hoping though. He figured that there was no way to truly know.

His soft brown eyes were faded and worn after all this time, but his heart wasn’t completely shattered yet. It was one thing that he was truly happy and proud of. He wished that someone dear to him could see him now. However, it seemed that they were all just memories now and they had faded from his life just as the stars seemed to continue to fade from their night skies with all the chaos that the apocalypse brought. He just wanted something to bring his hope back. Maybe it really was way too much to ask for, but he still selfishly wished for it continuously.

He leaned against the nearest wall by his locket and just stared rather blankly and let his fingers wrap around the chain of the necklace he wore delicately. Maybe everything in his world had changed completely. Even so, it was no excuse to roll over and die and just give up. He would use that as his reason to keep fighting no matter what happened. Right now, he just wanted to be alone and think about everything that led up to now. He missed it all. He missed being with the people he held dearest. He missed being scolded by his family. He missed hanging out with Payton. He missed holding his girlfriend in his arms. He missed every single memory. Deep down in his heart though, he knew he could never get any of that back. This was the life that he led now. There was no turning back.

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Tags: Payton~
Words: 1,282
Notes: Hopefully this is a good starting thread for these two ^-^ <3

[Payton Clark]

Wow this place actually seems smaller then I remember. Lurking around the alley behind the school, Payton was peeking into a window that belonged to an old classroom that he certainly had seen at least once in his four years of attendance. When the years ran together, like they did in his mind, it was harder to tell. That coupled with the actually grandure size of the school. It was three stories not counting the basement, so to say he had seen all the rooms might be a lie. Still, after attending the University he had this school seemed small in comparison. I wonder if there's anything, or anyone left around here. Looking down the alley way, Payton could see a dumpster, just like the one he had been sleeping in for some time now. Figuring it safer to just take some sort of back way in, the 6‘4 giant hopped up onto the dumpster so he could force a window open. I could have avoided so many tardies if I would have perfected this technique sooner. The idea amused him momentarily while he crawled in through the weather beaten frame.

Quietly lowering himself onto the seat of a chair that was just on the other side of the wall, Payton held his breath hoping it wouldn't give way under his weight or make a loud noise of any kind. The second he had his other leg in, he removed himself from the small seat, pleased that he had managed to make a quiet entrance. Looking around the classroom, it was easy to see that there had been some panic. Traces of binders and papers were scattered about. Picking up a colorful binder in his hands he saw that at one point it belonged to a girl named Abigail.

To see a name, to know that this had once belonged to a human being, it took a toll on his feelings. This poor Abigail was only in High School when the world went to Hell in a hand basket. Staring at the object for another moment, Payton resolved to just place it back on her desk where she had left it before fleeing the school. It wasn't his place to move anything, not unless he could find a reason to make plans to stay.

Walking out of the room, Payton was greeted by an empty hallway that was in the same shape as the classroom. Objects strew all over the halls, the only noticeable comfort was there was no mass traces of blood to be seen yet. As he walked Payton would every so often kick a binder or book that he had not seen. The scuffle noise scared him every time, it was no doubt loud enough to attract un-wanted attention. Making it a point to walk more quietly Payton headed through the winding halls only to turn one corner in particular. This next hall he faced is where his old locker had been. But that didn't have quite the impact that finding a person did. For a moment he just stared in silence not sure if it was a walker of a person. But once his eyes adjusted he could see plain as day that it was a person, and not just any person but his best friend from childhood. “Um Seth?" Just to be sure, Payton stayed rooted at the end of the hall and called out. If this guy wasn't Seth then he would have to make a plan B.

* * TAGGED;; Seth!!
* * WORDS;; 583
* * MUSE;; PewDiePie's Song - DJ Fortify
* * NOTES;; Your post was a great opener! I’m sorry mine is so much shorter!! O_O I can’t write 1,000 words to save my life.... ._.

[Seth Khoeun]

"And I know it's been years now, and I don't look the same. And the hopes and dreams you had for me you thought went down the drain. And the room feels so empty where my pictures used to be. Now, I can't say not to blame you, but you can't blame me."

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Seth had shut his eyes for a few brief moments as he just continued to let his mind go back to the memories that were most precious to him. They were memories that he knew he could never let go of. They were memories that would echo through his mind forever. These halls were filled with so many thoughts, hopes, and memories. It was something that he would protect dearly. They were only thoughts and of course couldn’t quite be stolen, but per chance someone would try to get rid of them in some way, he would fight to the death to protect them.

It was a truth that memories weren’t really something that could help you. They actually meant nothing to many people. Once they were through with you, you were just a memory that they could let go or forget with the times. It was very sad, but Seth knew all too well that some people didn’t respect memories like he did. He had always thought of them as precious even if you no longer were around the person anymore that was involved in those thoughts. They were all still precious. It was good to be able to remember things. The good and the bad. It didn’t matter to him because they were moments that he could never truly get back.

His thoughts spun back to a bad memory that he had gone through not too long before the apocalypse had happened. He had been arguing with his family again and remembered that before he had left his last words had been negative and something that he regretted saying. They had been fighting over the girl that he had chosen for a girlfriend once again. She wasn’t Japanese or anything close to that. They had wanted him to be with someone within their race, but he had been different and decided to not listen to his father. Apparently, it made him a huge disgrace to his family. His grandparents were the ones who had thrown a bigger fit. Of course, they were over in Japan and had made a phone call to check in on his parent’s families and to see how their eldest grandchild was doing.

He had been doing everything right up until it came down to the girl he was in love with. Of course, he had always kept his sexuality a secret because it wasn’t approved of in his family. He was bi-curious, but he had never really gotten too much of a chance to experiment with those feelings and ended up going the way that his family had wanted him to. After all, he didn’t want to be seen as any more of an embarrassment than he already was. He hadn’t really thought that he was being shameful or a disgrace, but when he thought about it now, he regretted the fact that he couldn’t make his family a lot happier before he had lost them.

It was something that he would never be able to live down. What was even worse was his words to his own father and mother were three deadly ones. I. Hate. You. Those words he knew had torn their hearts to pieces before he had taken off to stay over with his girlfriend. He didn’t mean those words at all. Actually, if he could turn back time, he would have punched himself and told himself not to even say those words to his family. He would have screamed and told him to cherish his family more than he had. However, that was impossible and those thoughts were nothing more than a fantasy now. It was impossible to get those moments in his life back and redo them. Now, he was left to live in regret for the actions that he did make and he had to deal with the guilt that followed and squeezed his heart so very tightly.

His eyes opened as he decided to become more aware of his surroundings. He had heard scuffles and shuffling of something drawing nearer. He felt fear grip his heart entirely. If it was a zombie, he would find himself being rather upset. He had gone here to get away from them for at least a short while. It didn’t seem like many had found their way into the school anyways. Everyone had evacuated the area at this point and had moved on elsewhere. He figured that a zombie wouldn’t really be able to survive here without any humans to eat. It was a perfect place for him to rest up for a bit and just think of what he was going to do next.

He exhaled softly and kept himself from turning. He didn’t want to make any noises in case it would draw attention to him. It was most terrifying when you couldn’t get away or found yourself trapped. He always ended up in the situations where he had to run because there would be too many for him to fight on his own. Maybe with a group he could take them on, but he didn’t really think anyone would want to risk their lives to help clear out the creatures who were killing off their race. Everyone else seemed to be far too afraid to do much.

When he focused on the sounds of the movement, he let out a sigh of relief when he picked up the sounds were more than likely from a human. The problem was he had no idea if the person was good or bad, or if he had been followed. It was a scary thought to think that another human would be twisted enough to kill another person at a time like this. It made more sense to want to band together with your own kind, but in the end people were still as corrupt as they had ever been.

He had prepared for the worst, but everything in his own reality had come to a stop and he felt his eyes widen as he heard a familiar voice enter his ears. He had heard this voice in the past, and he was positive that he knew who the owner of that voice was; Payton. His gaze softened as he quickly found himself turning around to take in the sight of the person who had called out to him. And, there he was clear as day. It was his childhood best friend.

He had found himself falling into complete and total shock. He hadn’t expected to run into someone that he knew. He had figured that they would all be dead by this point. But, there he was right before him. He couldn’t have been happier to see him there and he instantly had found himself smiling in relief. It seemed like times had gone rough on both of them appearance wise, but it didn’t seem like Payton had really changed a bit. He walked towards Payton, his lower lip trembling a bit. He was in so much shock and awe, but he wanted to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming. When he had gotten close enough to Payton, he didn’t care one bit and he threw his arms around the male to pull him into a friendly bro hug.

It had been so long since he had seen him, but he felt like they would be able to pick things up like they had just seen each other yesterday. “Payton…” He closed his eyes tightly as he kept the male in a warm embrace. After a few moments, he pulled away to stare at the male in the face. “I’m so glad to see that you’re alive and kicking.” He playfully prodded the male’s arm and let out a warm chuckle. “It’s been such a long time since I had last seen you! Are you still with the girl you were with back in high school… Or?” He looked around and frowned slightly. It seemed that Payton was very much alone as well.

It was irony. Maybe it was fate that they had ended up running into each other again. It was nice to have a chance to catch up, but he figured that if they were too loud or drew too much attention to themselves that things would go completely wrong for the both of them. He kept his gaze on his friends face. He smiled warmly. “It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve seen your face, man. I guess things really have gotten crazy since this mess has started. So, I suppose it couldn’t be helped that we couldn’t contact one another. How have you been!? And your family, how are they?” Questions seemed to stream from Seth’s mouth, but he couldn’t help it. He had been so excited to see some form of life and what was even better was it was someone that he knew. He was so worried about Payton, and now he had found him. Since he had found the male alone he feared that something bad had probably separated Payton from his family as well. He waited for his friend’s answer with a soft smile upon his face.

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Tags: Payton~
Words: 1,527
Notes: Thank you and it's not a problem ;w; I just write a lot of detail, thoughts and in depth so my posts tend to be rather long ;w; Hopefully you enjoy them ;w; If they're too long I can try and shorten them ;w;

[Payton Clark]

When the other figure finally responded, Payton felt a great deal of relief. The hug took him by surprise, but who was he to not return the gesture? Wrapping an arm around his friend he gave him a few firm pats on the back. Things had been rough for him but Payton had managed tp maintain a great deal of his strength. Thank you youthfulness. Smiling at Seth who was now looking at him, Payton couldn't decide if he should admit that he was just as surprised by the fact that he had made it this far. “Yeah well I'm not too shocked that you're alive Jackie Chan....okay that's a lie, I'm very surprised." Returning the prodding gesture, Payton was all smiles until the question of his past relationship came up. He had thought about Holly a lot right after things had happened, but not so much lately, at least not until just now. Whatever had become of her was a mystery to the young man. Maybe that's for the best... Trying to pick his smile back up, Payton forced one, wanting to avoid setting off the good vibes. “Oh, Holly? Well she actually...she dumped me before the fever...I don't blame her one bit." Staring off into the distance, down the hall, the memories came rushing back. The ones of them walking the halls holding hands, or her coming to meet him at his locker.

Had Seth not interjected his pity trip into the past, Payton might have very well just stood there all day reminiscing. Shaking the thoughts from his head, the young brunette faced his friend once more. “Yeah bro, it's been ages! Crazy or not, I should have at least e-mailed you before all of this. I guess I just got wrapped up in other things." Although I have no idea what those other things are anymore. Trivial things that had seemed so important then, mattered not at all anymore. This is what he liked to call a rude awakening. “I've actually been okay, sleeping in a dumpster...surviving. And as for my family...well I have no idea. I'm not eager to find out either. Being ignorant allows me the ability to assume they’re okay, yah know? But what about your folks? Are they hiding out somewhere? For that matter, didn't you have a girl too?" It seemed odd that he wouldn't bring his family or his girl with him which pressed Payton to the thought that maybe he was in the same situation as him. Whatever the case, Seth had the ultimate choice of whether or not to tell.

* * TAGGED;; Seth!!
* * WORDS;; 431
* * MUSE;; Resolution - Nick Lachey
* * NOTES;; I love your posts!! I wish mine were better XD

[Seth Khoeun]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,446,bTable][atrb=style, background-color: #FAFAFA; border-top: 3px solid #0E292A; border-left: 1px dotted #0E292A; border-bottom: 3px solid #0E292A; border-top-left-radius: 230px; border-top-right-radius: 10px; border-bottom-right-radius: 15px; border-bottom-left-radius: 15px;] [STYLE=height: 100px; width: 100px; margin-top: -19px; border: 3px solid #2E1E03; margin-left: 3px; margin-top: 40px; background-image: url(http://i622.photobucket.com/albums/tt305/RitsukaFlame/rui.png); border-radius: 100px; ][/style] [STYLE=height: 70px; width: 70px; margin-left: 80px; border: 3px solid #2E1E03; margin-top: -166px; background-image: url(http://i622.photobucket.com/albums/tt305/RitsukaFlame/rui.png); border-radius: 100px;][/style] [STYLE=text-align: right; margin-right: 7px; text-transform: lowercase; font-family: georgia; letter-spacing: -6px; margin-top: -69; font-size: 53px; color: #458589;]YOU CHEWED,[/style][STYLE=float: right; width: 300px; font-family: helvetica; margin-right: 20px; font-size: 9px; margin-top: -10px; line-height: 8px; text-align: justify; color: #091E1F; font-weight: bold; text-transform: uppercase; text-indent: 20px;]ME UP AND SPIT ME OUT, LIKE I WAS POISON IN YOUR MOUTH. YOU TOOK MY LIGHT, YOU DRAINED ME DOWN, BUT THAT WAS THEN AND THIS IS NOW. NOW LOOK AT ME! THIS IS THE PART OF ME THAT YOU'RE NEVER GONNA EVER TAKE AWAY FROM ME, NO. THIS IS THE PART OF ME THAT YOU'RE NEVER GONNA EVER TAKE AWAY FROM ME, NO. THROW YOUR STICKS AND STONES –[/style] [STYLE=margin-top: 45px; margin-left: 120px; margin-right: 20px; text-align: center; height: 40px; color: #071313; font-size: 9px; line-height: 10px; overflow: auto;]tags, this guyyy. words, count em. notes, this kinda looks ugly when it scrolls but since everything goes screwy when you write too much here, it has that feature. 8);;[/style] [STYLE=background-color: #EEF1F1; padding: 17px; font-family: helvetica; font-size: 10px; color: #071313; text-align: justify; margin-right: 20px; margin-left: 20px; margin-top: -10px; margin-bottom: 0px; border-top-left-radius: 30px; border-top-right-radius: 30px;]Emotions seemed to be running high. Of course, it couldn’t be help with all of the nostalgia that surrounded Seth. Every past memory to do with his child hood best friend seemed to flood through his mind during their embrace. He was full of so much shock and worry that he wasn’t quite sure what to do except keep his friend close by. He had no idea how long they would end up being allowed to talk or with each other because there was no telling when a zombie could interrupt them. It was a scary thought. He was scared to be separated from his best friend; especially since they met up again after so long! It was either a blessing or a curse. Seth wasn’t quite sure yet in his mind. It could be a blessing that they met and they would be able to help each other out in some way or another, but it could be a curse too. Why? Well, when they would probably have to part ways he would have yet another worry on his mind. He would worry for Payton’s life and would constantly wonder how he would be doing and hoping that he would continue on living and surviving as well. He knew deep in his heart that they wouldn’t be able to be together for too long. It was impossible really to stay together with all of the running and the dangers around. It was difficult to go around undetected as well. If you had a huge group to move around with, eventually, other groups would find out and target your group; at least the corrupt ones! He couldn’t stand the thought of losing Payton. No. He didn’t want to lose him to zombies or any of the monsters roaming the planet now. It would absolutely destroy him if he lost someone else that he cared so dearly about; especially if he knew that he couldn’t protect them. Maybe… maybe it would be better if at the end of their reunion that they ended up separating once more. Maybe they could see each other again at the end of the apocalypse? Maybe they would run into each other again at a later time? Maybe… Just maybe they both could continue on their own with their own selves to worry about. It would keep them focused on what was most important to their present survival and not each other’s. He smiled softly as his friend patted his back. It felt like old times in high school where they would just stop in the hall and exchange a friendly hug. It was something that best friend’s did back when he was in high school; at least it’s what he did! It was such a surprise that either of them had even made it this far alive. After all, it wasn’t that long ago that they left childhood and high school behind them. He had never expected his adult life to consist of this. But, in the end, he had wasted most of his life in school. At least, he felt he had a right to say that! After all, he didn’t even know if he’d make it out of this mess! He was happy and grateful that both of them had made it to this point. To Seth, that was all that seemed to matter at this point. It made him happy to know that he wasn’t alone and someone he knew was still alive at this point. It was enough to give him comfort and satisfaction that hit his very core. He listened to Payton’s words and let out a soft chuckle at the first part. Ha! It was so nostalgic. It felt like yesterday that they were still in high school and teasing each other. He was always called Jackie Chan jokingly by friends or other people. A lot of students didn’t bother trying to mess with him ever because they were scared that he knew some sort of secret martial arts. It was a good thing though! It kept people from bothering him. Of course, he felt that students in high school were a tad racist with their comments, but he didn’t complain. It was hilarious how they expected so much out of him even though he really didn’t know that much and didn’t feel he was all that smart in general. “Well, you know I think it’s a bit surprising that any of us are still alive. But, you know me. I’m still the little Asian ninja that you grew up with.” He let a soft smirk cross his gentle features. It was a devilishly handsome grin and appeared very playful. “What super hero powers did you develop to survive, Spiderman.” He grinned broadly at his comment. He watched a smile cross Payton’s face, but he wondered if it was fake from what his friend had said to him next. “That sucks.” He let his hands slide into the pockets of his hoodie and he let his gaze drop. “I suppose that’s her loss. She lost a great man. If she’s still alive… I’m sure that she probably regrets losing you even now. If not… then I personally don’t think she ever deserved someone like you.” He kept his gaze on the ground as he stared at the filthy floor tiles and a paper that littered the ground. It wasn’t fair when it came to losing someone who was important in your life. Even if they broke up with you, it was still a terrible feeling that would simply crush you entirely. He laughed lightly at Payton’s next comment. “It’s alright. We both got busy with our own lives. In the end, I guess none of that really did matter since all of this happened.” He looked up and forced a weak smile on his face, but it quickly faded. It was true though. Everything before now seemed to be pointless. School, work, just anything he had done. None of it seemed worth it. If only he had known that this would happen… If only he knew… If he did, then he probably would have spent time preparing. However, he didn’t know and it felt almost like his entire life had been a waste up until now. When he heard what his friend had been doing to get by he figured that it was very smart. He had never thought of sleeping in a dumpster. Of course, Seth was a bit spoiled and couldn’t imagine himself sleeping in one. After all, some of the scents that were in them weren’t very pleasant. “That’s actually a good idea for a place to hide out. I’ve just been moving around constantly. I did travel with a group for a bit, but I didn’t like their methods or how they treated people so I decided to take off on my own. Of course, if I have a run in with them it won’t be pretty for me.” He laughed a little nervously. It was a fact that he would be a big target of the group that he left if they would find him. Their leader was ruthless and didn’t sympathize with anyone. He had no trace of a conscience either. It was terrible! He listened and felt a little more relaxed when he heard that there was a chance that Payton’s family was still alive and out there somewhere. It was a nice thought to know that there was a chance that your own family was still alive. He smiled, but at the next question his expression went blank and he felt as if he was going to be sick. He knew very well the answer to that question. He knew deep down as well that he would never see his family again. They were long gone. He could never bring them back…ever. “I-I’m glad to hear that your family is alright.” He paused and took in a deep breath and finally exhaled and stared a little beyond Payton. “My family is dead. My mother, father, sister, and brother… I had been away from them when this mess started…” His voice shook a bit. It was obvious that the memory was very painful to him. “When I returned back home… They were zombies… In order to prevent them from killing anyone else and to let them rest peacefully… I took an ax and took each one of them down on my own…” The memories flooded back into his mind. He had struggled so hard in the past to kill them. He remembered the first person he had run into in his family had been his own mother. He didn’t really have it in him to hurt her. He loved his mother to death and he had swung with his eyes shut. He missed her head and only ended up chopping up her shoulder and she kept moving. It was frightening because at that point of time, he had backed himself up against the wall and had almost been bitten himself. It was only quick thinking that got him to finally swing the ax into her head. After that, it seemed that it had become a little easier to just keep swinging the ax. He had continued until he was covered with nothing but blood. At the end of it, he had fallen to his knees in tears. He felt like nothing but a murdered even though they were already dead. That was the day that he had truly died on the inside. He felt that he had truly lost himself at that point of time. “I can only wish and pretend that they’re hiding. Deep down… I know it’d be a lie to say such things. I had to kill them with my own hands…” He held up his hands and stared at them. He trembled a lot more now and tears seemed to flow from his eyes now. “I guess I’m no better than a murderer…right? I killed my own family… With my own two hands… Sure, they were zombies at that point… Yet, why do I still feel like a killer?” His voice broke. He had to finish his next words and the next thoughts before he completely drowned in his own tears. “I’m such an idiot… I… I did have a girl… Where she is now… Or if she is even alive… I don’t even know. Serenity…” He let his teeth grit together. “I’m the worst boyfriend imaginable… Even though she had such a brave face and a strong encouraging smile when she told me to go see my family… I should have known she was scared too… I shouldn’t have left her alone. I’m the worst…” It was obvious from his own words that he blamed himself completely and entirely. Deep down he loathed himself for what had happened. He couldn’t possibly let himself live this down. He regretted his past choices dearly and he blamed himself for them. He thought that deep down it would have been better to die with the one he loved or that maybe she would still be alive now. However, he’d never truly know because it was too late to change time and fate. He could only live in regret and pain and try to spend the rest of his life making up for everything by helping other people. After all, he felt that it was what his parents and what Serenity would have wanted in the end. [/style]

[STYLE=opacity: 0.9; font-family: helvetica; font-size: 9px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: 3px; color: #091E1F; width: 400px;]made by kiwii at btn and gs![/style]